So yes, I’m pretty tired…physically, mentally and emotionally!! Do you ever find that you keep going and going and going then it hits like a ton of bricks.
I’m tired physically because, let’s face it, two kiddies under two is hard work, it’s constant. People told me it would be but you really don’t get it till you’re in the middle of it. Like this morning, I went up to have a shower and get ready for 20 minutes, just 20 minutes and I came down to what looked like a bomb site…toys everywhere, little tikes car in the middle of it and cushions on the floor…don’t you just love how boys play! The washing, cooking, cleaning and all never ends too but that’s all part of it. I wouldn’t change it for the world tho. I love my family. I am living my dream of being a wife and a mummy, what more could I ask for.
I’m tired mentally because I am on constant watch with Eva and making sure she is ok throughout the day. Like today, I wasn’t happy with her breathing. She has a bit of a cough and had been given an inhaler but I was scared she was aspirating, which is taking fluid down into your lungs instead of your stomach, while feeding as she chokes quite a bit when feeding. This can cause complications and lead to pneumonia so obviously that’s on my mind. Anyhow, took her to doctors and chest was clear, think she just has a wee narrow throat and noisy with cleft palate. But days like this are draining as I feel the weight of the responsibility I have as Eli & Eva’s mummy but I know God gives me the wisdom and ability to do what He’s called me to do.
I’m tired emotionally because plain and simple, I’m a wife and a mummy. My heart breaks when Eli cries in pain or Eva is crying with wee pains in her tummy. I’m their mummy, I should be able to make it better but sometimes I just can’t, that’s hard.
But in saying all of the above, I am so thankful when I read:
Isaiah 40:30-31 (NLT)
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
5-6 I stretch myself out. I sleep.
Then I’m up again—rested, tall and steady,
Fearless before the enemy mobs
Coming at me from all sides.
So on that note, I’m off to stretch myself out to sleep!